Why didn’t they tell me their child was different?

I have heard photographers share horror stories about how they showed up for a session and eventually figured out that the child was autistic or had ADHD and the session went poorly. As a photographer, this type of information can help us prepare certain modifications to our workflow to ensure the family still has a great session experience.  It is so devastating when we have a bad session!  Especially when we, as the photographer, feel it could have been prevented.  All the parents had to do was tell me their kid was different, how hard is that? 

Harder than you think.

Let me be frank, as a mother of a Neurodivergent child, I ask you:  Why should they tell you?  Are you their doctor?  Are you their family?  Are you a friend that they vent to about all their struggles and challenges?  No.  You, to them, are just a photographer.  The fear of rejection is real for this family. What if you don’t take the session because their kid is autistic and you don’t feel comfortable working with differently wired kids? What if they share that their child is high-energy and you say that you are not a good fit to work together?

Their kid just has to behave for an hour, right?  They can do that…. The caregiver/booker of the photo session hopes.  

The family doesn’t understand what you do from behind the camera.  They don’t get that you, the photographer, will be guiding their family through poses and they will be requested to touch each other (which can be hard for neurodivergent children), or operate during golden hour - a time of day that is very challenging for neurodivergent children.  The parents haven’t thought that through.  That mom is just desperate for one good photo.  For one moment of bliss where she can pretend that her daily challenges won’t show in her face.  That dad is terrified of the money that they are spending on this photo session that is only going to end in tears for the whole family. 

Have you had a photo session with a very challenging child? Or even a parent for that matter…. One that just would not listen, would not look at the camera and just irritated the whole family and there was nothing you could do about it? You likely cried, vented and complained about the experience.  The problem is….  The family you photographed likely has too.  And that isn’t good for you or your business.  

That family was not trying to ruin you. They just wanted to pretend they were normal and take a chance that they would be accepted by a professional. At the end of the session, they might have left in silence, cried later and will accept the photos you send them quietly thanking you for your patience. But will you hear from them again? Unless you wow them with the photos and during the handling of their kiddo, likely not.

There is a good chance that you were working with a neurodivergent family during that challenging session. One who has a child with ADHD and asking them to focus is like asking a blind person to see. Or perhaps the child was super sensitive to everything and would not go in the tall grass because it itched… that kid could have sensory challenges and asking them to deal with the itchy tall grass for just an hour is like asking you to walk barefoot on hot coals.

These families want photos too… I know they do. My family is one of those families. I built my photography business based on accommodating the neurodivergent community because it is my day to day life. I look at each location and wonder how my daughter would handle being at it. I schedule my sessions based on when my ND daughter would emotionally do best. I want to teach you how to make your photography business neurodivergent inclusive.

Are you wanting to improve your session experience for those families that are differently-wired?  Do you want to have the magic question that will get families to open up to you before you arrive at the session? 

My class will teach you what to ask, how to choose ideal locations, scheduling tips and pre-photo session communications to set you up for success for all families, not just neurodivergent ones.

I am so passionate about this.  My family struggles every time we have family photos taken and I don’t want that for the other neurodivergent families out there.  Let me help you, your business and the families you serve to have a better session experience when working with high-energy, highly sensitive and neurodivergent children.